The last few weeks have been exhausting. Lou has been sick… I’ve been sick. Then right when Lou finally starts laughing again and we seem to be over the cold then we are all hit with the stomach flu. Right now I hate the infant care center. I was expecting more colds and sickness… but I wasn’t expecting to be sick nonstop forever. I’m sick of hearing about how great her immunity will be once she starts school… I really can’t take anymore sickness. My child has not been herself… laughing or being silly. Plus it is painful to watch your baby suffer. If she continues to be sick I am going to have to find another nanny. I had a job posting up for a while but gave up and pulled it because we were not getting quality applicants… Ana did go to infant care when she was 18 months old but she was not sick very often. I don’t know if it is just bad timing to start in the winter months… or if the fact that this infant center is much smaller than the one Ana went to is an issue… maybe less air circulating or closer contact. I know that having an entire house of people with stomach flu is one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. Also, I can’t run when I’m sick… I’m not happy when I can’t run… not happy at all.
During all this sick time some pretty sad stuff has been happening. The death of Philip Seymore Hoffman, a completely tragic loss of father and artist, touched me deeply. For me if he is in a movie, it is worth looking into… I don’t feel that way about many actors. He was very moving in Love Liza, as a man struggling with the sudden suicide of his wife; it is one of my favorite movies… I hope his death brings more awareness to the disease. I have known several friends that have struggled with this illness and it’s hard to think that after 23 years sober they could still succumb to addiction. It’s scary. It must be scary to be partners with an addict, to build a life with an addict… to have children with an addict. I can’t imagine. I don’t think there is another illness more misunderstood or judged more harshly than addiction… I feel empathy for his family and the loss they must feel.
Also, in the news there was the open letter to Woody Allen written by his adopted daughter, Dylan Farrow. While, I don’t want to write much on this (I have read some very eloquent blog posts on the issue and I don’t feel like I can really add much)… but as a fellow survivor I want to briefly address the issue. I will say that it is very emotional for me (and I’m assuming every survivor) to read her letter. I believe her. I’m not sure if people questioning her validity are aware that Woody Allen is currently married to one of his daughters (?!?!?!) While he may not have been on the official adoption paperwork, he was still the father figure in her life… and his other children considered her a sister… This makes him a monster. I’m pretty sure Hollywood is a dark place that I don’t want to have anything to do with… and there are probably sinister predators lurking behind the scenes of all my beloved movie classics… but I don’t think that makes it acceptable to rape your 7 year old adopted daughter. The fact that she was adopted breaks my heart, a little girl in need of a stable family and to have this monster single her out and then call himself her father… and the public reactions. People want to believe that the justice system is there to protect victims and prosecute rapists. Yet when victims come forward people treat them as if they are liars, even at the tender age of seven. I think the most offensive thing I’ve read from Hollywood came from Alec Baldwin tweeting that this is a private family affair. I don’t know what kind-of world Alec is from where child rape is a family affair but it must be one where he makes tons of money starring in one of Woody’s movies… it’s gross. Shame on all who profit from this man.
I know this blog entry is very dark. We’ve been sick and some messed up stuff has happened… Can’t all be unicorns and rainbows.